What we’re up to these days

DD had her third gym class of the term today and the non-parent participation thing is going swimmingly! She gets a real workout there and I definitely consider it part of the Homelearning schtick – it’s Physical Education! I love watching her bouncing around and playing games and just following along without needing me to be in there with her (you can read about our trials with that here). I’m so proud of her!

I also registered us today for a series of programs run by a local Ecology Centre. We are so blessed here to have such amazing parks and wilderness areas, and wonderful programs to boot. I’m very excited about the programs because it’s a lovely park and really nice to visit even in the rain! I just hope DS isn’t too much of a disruption. I may end up having Mum babysit him while we go (the classes are only 1 hour). It sucks because I feel bad about dumping him off and he will be upset to not be with me and his big sister but that’s life with a toddler in tow. I’ve been waiting so long to do stuff with DD. It makes me sad that I end up torn between my two kids. But at least with homelearning I know that it won’t be for long. If they were in school they’d be doing separate activities for the next 12 years!

A Very Cool Site

I spent hours with the kids yesterday surfing this site and playing all the cool games. It’s educational, fun, and has a neat “World Beat” vibe to it.

www.uptoten.com

Thanks to my friend, ArtParent, for the recommendation (it only took me about 3 months to finally check it out).

Dad is on board

I had coffee with my Dad today. Dad was always the driving force behind our academic persuits (mine and my brother’s). He is very enthusiastic about education. Fortunately, he also has an open mind and a high regard for our parenting choices. Today I told him that we’d made the decision to homeschool. He started out with the usual misconceptions – saying it would be hard on me, and then saying that since he did a term of distance learning at University a thousand years ago he has some familiarity with homelearning. Yeeeeah. Anyways, I gave him the speech about self-directed learning, me not being a teacher but a resource finder, the children retaining their natural desire for learning, and avoiding all the social pitfalls of school society. By the end of the conversation he was positively giddy about it all. Yay Dad!

Now, to break the news to Mum. Actually, I don’t think she’ll freak out too much. She has talked about homeschooling with other people, and one of her friends is a school principle who took a one year sabbatical and happily homeschooled his kids through it. But my guess is that he is of the variety who sets up a mini classroom in his home. Still, with his endorsement Mum opened her mind. Then one day while she was watching my kids at the playground as I went off for a two hour lineup at the passport office, she encounterd a young boy and girl who, as it turned out, were homeschooled. She didn’t know this at first, and was delighted at the boy’s ability to hold a conversation with her and take an interest in her as a person. When I showed up she was gushing about what a nice young brother and sister they were, and I could see that the notion of homeschooling was becoming more acceptable to her. I think she might balk at the idea of them *never* going to school, but I can deal with that by just mumbling something along the lines of “well, we’ll start with elementary school and see how that goes”. Not like I have the slightest notion of sending them to high school, but it should keep Mum from worrying too much. By the time the kids get to be that age I’m sure she will be on board, just as has happened with every other parenting decision I’ve made.

Collecting

This is just a small sample of DD’s bottle cap collection. She and my mother counted them last night and she has 181 so far. I have to fight my maternal sensibilities when she starts digging them up from the ground, but she really enjoys categorizing so this kind of hobby is right up her alley. It’s quite humerous to take her into the liquor store and have her identifying all the brews by their caps. Yes, my child can tell a Granville Island Brewery from a Sleemans.

Our new baby

I’m experimenting with adding photos. This is our new electronic piano. It’s sitting on our antique chinese writing desk, because it seemed more stable than putting it on the stand, where the kids can easily topple it over. The chair isn’t really the right height for it, however, so this is just a temporary solution. 

God bless the BBC

I haven’t had much time to play on our new piano lately. I did master Jingle Bells with two hands, but I confess I’m finding it a bit daunting to read music on two lines at the same time and work with two hands at the same time. It isn’t enough to memorize fingers with notes because the fingers you use to play any given key changes depending on where your hands are. This makes it seemingly much more complicated than violin. I suspect I will soon tire of learning to play the piano properly, and instead resort to just rote memorization of songs I enjoy playing. Oh well!

We recently purchased the complete set of Blue Planet DVD’s from BBC and the Discovery Channel. DD is completely hooked on The Deep episode (admittedly my favorite). The creatures that live in the deep ocean are amazingly weird and wonderful. DD’s favorite is the Gulper Eel, a creature whose mouth takes up a quarter of its body size. I like the hairy anglerfish. I also give props to the usual kind of anglerfish for Coolest Mating strategy. The male is tiny compared to the female and lacks the glowing lures and cool shiny spots of the female. His job in life is to find a female, bite her on a special part of her body, and become permenantly attached to her. Their circulatory systems actually become joined. He stays there for the rest of his life, providing a steady supply of sperm. Very cool. Though I’m glad we humans went with a different reproductive plan!

DD now says when she grows up she wants to be a scientist who goes down in special submarines to explore the deep ocean. How cool is that? Anyways, as with many homeschooled kids she seems to get obsessive over a subject and this one has even surpassed the dinosaur obsession for now. I heard her telling my mother last night that you can’t dive in the deep because you’ll get squished. We’d been talking about pressure and how the air presses us all the time but we are used to it, but deep down the weight of the water is so great it would squish us. My mother actually used to belong to the Hong Kong Underwater Club back in the ’50’s and so DD was thrilled to talk to her about all the sea creatures she’d seen, like a manta ray, though DD was a bit disappointed to hear that Mum hadn’t tried to take a ride on it.

This evening DH downloaded an episode of another BBC program, Planet Earth, about caves. It was stunning and the three of us watched in awe. DD was fascinated by the glowworms of New Zealand’s caves and even more surprised when I told her I had actually seen them myself, when I went Blackwater Rafting (that link is the actual tour we did) many years ago with my brother and cousins – an experience that was undoubtedly one of the most amazing of my life. It’s wonderful to share my fascination of Nature with her. And one of the wonderful benefits of homeschooling is getting the opportunity to learn new things myself, things that I might not bother taking the time to seek out for myself. I’ll Google things for her (“let’s look it up” is one of her fave sayings) when I would normally be too lazy to do it for myself. The whole family learns together and that, my friends, is why we do what we do!

Cue the Music!

Today we purchased an electronic piano!

I have to give full props to the real source of my inspiration on this – m00minmama. Reading about her musically talented gang of homeschoolers really got me thinking about bringing music into my kids’ lives and making it available for them. DH is also really into music and it was his idea to head off to the music store today and buy one (there was a sale).

I started violin at age 3 and went through a few years of Suzuki, continuing on until I was about 17. To be honest, there was a lot of pressure from my Dad to play. Personally, I never felt very comfortable with the violin. I always wanted to play piano (typical “not wanting to be different” kid stuff). But I did learn to read music and know basic music theory. I used to teach myself songs on the piano whenever I had access to one. Today I bought a book of simple tunes for adult beginners. I also bought DD a book for kids learning to play. So now what? Well, this is where I feel we really begin with unschooling (okay, okay I know learning has been going on since the day they were born, but humour me)…

I am not planning on getting lessons for either child any time soon. Frankly, there isn’t much they need to know right now that DH, myself, or the books can’t teach them. Second, there’s nothing that seems to stomp the fun right out of playing music like beginning lessons, with the homework and practices and endless drilling of scales…bleck! Instead, it’s there, in the living room, where we spend most of our time and where everybody has easy access to it. The kids are free to play it any time they want. With DS that means just pounding on the keys, but since it’s electronic he can’t really break it or put it out of tune, so he’s free to bang away. DD is also banging away but its a bit more goal-oriented. She loves the piano. Today we played together “C,D,E,C,D,E…” using the correct fingers on our right hands. We put a little sticker on Middle C so we could find it easily. It lasted only a couple of minutes before she got tired of that and went back to silly pounding. She sang along with herself in the sort of whiny “nanny, nanny, pooh-pooh” voice that only a 4 year old can perfect.

Now, here’s the interesting part. The little nagging voice in my head was annoyed. The banging was annoying, the whiny nyah-nyah was driving me a bit crazy. But I stopped myself, and changed my perspective. Because one of the things I was reminded of by reading these unschooling blogs is how unschoolers see the learning in everything around them. Suddenly, I realized that while DD was using a whiny tone, she was actually singing on-key. She was matching the pitch of her voice to each key she hit. And I also saw that banging away on it was all part of gaining a familiarity with the instrument. She was exploring it the way a child her age will. She does seem genuinely interested in it, in the music book, and she did well playing along with me those first few minutes. I am confident that if we just let her be to go at her own pace, and in her own way, that she will ask for more as she wants to learn more. As she gets older she will probably want to challenge herself a bit. And, if one day she decides she’s ready to do it more seriously then she can have lessons if that is what she wants.

I’m really proud of us today. Proud that I was able to almost immediately squelch that nagging little voice in my head and embrace the learning that was happening right there in front of me. I’m proud that we are giving the kids (and ourselves I might add) the opportunity to bring music into our lives in a new way. Hey, I learned how to play jingle bells today (with 2 hands!)

Oh, and I’ve also been inspired by all the violinists in m00minmama’s family to pick up some strings again. But this time I want to try the viola. It’s deep, rich tones appeal to me more than the violin. Then we can play duets!

New inspirations

I just discovered a plethora of Unschooling blogs. I have begun reading them and it has simply reaffirmed my suspicions that I want not just to homeschool, but unschool. I believe I already have the most important quality required to successfully unschool: faith. Faith in my children’s ability and desire to learn everything they will need to know to achieve success – success as defined on their terms, and as measured by their inner peace and happiness.

I get inspired by these blogs, too. They are full of great ideas for enriching my kids’ environment. For one thing, I really need to get us a tape player and find some audio books. I think DD would enjoy them, and I think I would too. Many of the families I’m reading about have school-aged children and I find it exciting to read about what they are doing and, in this way, get a peek into what lies ahead for us. I admit I am envious reading about it. I’m trying to stay relaxed and enjoy these preschool years, but I confess I am eager to start doing activities that will be more interesting for me. I look forward to when I can settle down in the evening with the kids in their own room and read them a chapter book. I’m looking forward to doing crafts with the kids that don’t involve DS gluing himself to various peices of furniture, or ending with me trying to unglue sprinkles from the TV screen. I realize a mess is part of the creative process but a 2 year old is still way too into the mess side for my comfort level. I’m also looking forward to playing board games with my kids and not having to deal with them changing the rules every five minutes to suit their whims.

The other upside to reading these blogs is that I’m also feeling a lifting of spirits in the parenting department (I’ve been in a rut lately; you can read about it here). I’m recognizing that unschooling is more than just an educational style, it’s a lifestyle that heavily relates to parenting. After all, part of wanting to homeschool is wanting to be with your kids (I got more comments today from near-strangers about how nice it would be for me if they were in school – what is it with our society and parents not wanting to be around their kids??). So I think I’m going to try and take my newfound exuberance for the Unschooling philosophy and tie that into my parenting. I’m hoping this will bring an influx of positive energy and motivation to my parenting. I am really, really in a rut of scolding and yelling and even getting physical with DD and I really really really need it to stop. Reading my parenting books often helps, but lately I feel like they just point out how badly I’m failing. Reading about unschooling, OTOH, seems to be more motivating. Maybe it’s because I haven’t failed at that yet!

New conversations

Yesterday I taught my first lecture of the year. While wandering around my department I chit-chatted with people, and one of them asked about the kids. Specifically, they asked if DD was going to preschool this year. I replied “no”, wishing to simply leave it at that. The conversation then proceeded as follows:

Her: Oh, so you’re going to wait until kindergarten?
Me: Uh no, we’re not sending our kids to school.
Her: Not at all?
Me: No, we’re homeschooling.
Her: Oh wow! You mean you are going to teach them yourself?
Me: Uh, well, sort of. I mean, I don’t need to be the teacher, there are lots of programs out there they can take if they are interested.
Her: Programs? What kind of programs?
Me: Oh lots of things. Arts classes, dance, science, etc.
Her: Oh that sounds nice. So instead of going to school they take classes……But what about academics?

By this point I am really tiring of this. It would take me far too long to explain, and when one is starting from such gross misconceptions about what homeschooling is, it would take a novel to explain it. So I try to cut the conversation short, but then she starts in with how patient and dedicated I am, and how she could never do it. Says she’d go crazy if her kids weren’t in school all day, and then how she isn’t smart enough to teach them stuff but of course I am because I have a PhD blah blah blah….

As I walked away from this I realized that this is only the beginning. As my kids get older, more and more people will ask if they are in school, or what grade they are in, etc. I’m not going to lie, but if I say “we homeschool” am I going to then have to educate every single person who asks? I mean, most of these people are just making polite conversation. The checkout girl at Capers asked DD if she started school this week, and DD just said no. But she’s young enough that it doesn’t elicit too much surprise. Wait until she is older and says “no, I don’t go to school”.

I really need to come up with some short and sweet answers that aren’t going to have me wasting my time trying to educate people who really don’t care and whose opinions of what we do don’t matter. I’m thinking something along the lines of “You know, it’s really not like that at all, but it would take me a long time to explain it. Suffice it to say we’re confident they’ll get an excellent education, which is why we decided to homeschool in the first place”. End of story.

I dunno, it needs work.

New plans

Last year after I pulled DD out of preschool I was eager to get her into a less socially volatile program. I found one that I really liked that was geared towards homelearning families, but they weren’t taking 3 year olds, so I had to wait. As soon as I could I went to sign her up, but then they announced they’d changed the program and were looking for 5 and 6 year olds. I pestered the teacher throughout the summer until she finally agreed to let us in. Well, it was due to start next week and now we’ve decided not to go.

Our decision to homeschool was a big part of it. Suddenly it didn’t seem so important that she be in some sort of program *now*. And I wondered what the point was given that I wasn’t intending to continue with any other sort of program once this one was through. And since getting more involved with the homelearning community, there were programs and events that were going to conflict with DD’s schedule.

There was also the pleasantly surprising realization that I was going to miss her. It was six hours a day, twice a week. As the time drew nearer, I found myself thinking it was an awfully long time to be away from her, and her away from me. And while I could be there with her the whole time if I wanted to, it then raised issues with childcare. DS is too active to be there without causing trouble, so it was either miss DD and be with DS, or the other way ’round. And while the plan was to have her be okay with me leaving her there after a while, it’s a total unknown as to how long that would take. The bottom line is that I would really miss her and I realized quite suddenly and surprisingly that I don’t want to be away from her for that long. It is actually a nice feeling.

But the biggest reason turned out to be money. Because DD is not yet kindergarten age, she does not qualify for government funding. The full fees were quoted to me as $400/month. This seemed reasonable back when getting her into the “best program possible” was of paramount importance to me. It seemed less so after deciding she is never going to school. Then last week the teacher told me that the fees were actually $450/month and that is when DH put his foot down. I’m glad he did, because I was just going to accept it. We talked about it and he put it this way: for 10 months of school it will cost $4500. That’s almost five grand for a year of education for a FOUR YEAR OLD. Pretty insane. I mean, what is the cost if she doesn’t go? Is she going to be hopelessly behind? Disadvantaged? I don’t think so. And if we really want her to do this program, she can go next year for almost half the cost.

So we decided to pull her out. I had a hard time telling the teacher because I really suck at stuff like that. I feel like I owe people, like I have obligations not to disappoint them. It’s not like DD took someone’s place (there are still spaces available) and it’s not like the program will be shut down b/c she isn’t there. I feel like an idiot for bugging the teacher so hard to let her in and then jamming out at the last minute, but she is actually a really cool person and didn’t make me feel at all rotten for doing so.

Now that the decision has been made, I am really happy about it. I don’t think I realized how much I would miss her until we made this decision. And I’m happy that I can do some things with DS! We’ll do some programs together, and DD can go into a few more (she’s already doing gym class) if she wants. And we can hang out more with the other homelearning families.