DD’s starting to notice

Today we went to Science World to join up with the Homelearning families we missed that morning because we slept in…as we walked from the parking lot to the entrance we passed two small school buses unloading kids.

DD: “Mama, why do all those kids go to school?”
Me: “Probably because they have to. Their parents make them.”
DD: “Don’t they want to be homelearners?”
Me: “I doubt most of them even know what a homelearner is.”
DD: “Well, I’m sure glad I don’t have to go to school.”

It’s already starting to sink in to DD and will likely become even more evident to her as people her age enter Kindergarten. Already strangers chatting her up ask about school and don’t seem to take her seriously when she says she doesn’t go. One tried to convince her that she will learn to love school, until I stepped in and said actually, she really *isn’t* ever going to school.

Hanging out with the homelearning mamas today was fun. They are a really neat bunch of women. I stopped feeling that “school envy” I wrote about in my last post, and was reminded of why *I* am the one to envy. Me and my daughter. Because she really does NOT want to go to school and I can’t imagine how difficult it would be for her if I had to make her go.

Once again I was struck at how different she is, socially. There were about 12 kids in our group and pretty much all of them were playing together at one point, or broken down into smaller groups. DD never joined in. She wandered around doing her own thing. When I asked her if she wanted to play with the other kids (thinking maybe she just didn’t know how to ask) she quite emphatically said “no”. Even DS wasn’t joining in too much, but then he is still so young and really into the “parallel play” thing. I wonder what he’ll be like when he gets to noticing other kids and wanting to join in. But DD is definitely not interested in “running with the crowd”. I think that’s kind of neat in a way. She’s definitely her own person and she quite enjoys being around adults. I see her as maybe being one of those precocious kids who finds the company of adults more enjoyable. Which isn’t to say she doesn’t have friends. She very much enjoys playing one-on-one with her two friends A and C. And yesterday my friend A came over with her son N who DD sees only sporadically and likely didn’t remember. They played together and today DD said that N was her new best friend, lol. Anyways, the point is that this just isn’t a child who “fits” in a school setting. And if it weren’t for us choosing homelearning she would be forced into it. How very sad that would be!

School Mom Envy

Lately I’ve been suffering from a wee bit of envy for those whose children are entering the school system. I was in the grocery store the other day, usually a difficult task with two kids in tow, listening to a lady chatting up the clerk about how her youngest started Kindergarten this year and it’s so nice to do all her errands while they are in school, including grocery shopping. As my own daughter approaches age 5 I’m hearing more talk from parents in our various classes about their kids starting school this fall. And when I do I must confess that I feel twangs of envy in me that these women are “almost done”. They’ve put in their five years of stay-at-home-mom-grind and now they are about to be Free. In no time they’ll have several hours a day, each day, to do with as they wish, whereas I feel like I’ll be struggling and clawing every ounce of free time I can get from my days forever.

I asked a mom I know, E, who has a 6 year old and is a dedicated homelearning mom (and one of the moms who inspired me to do it) whether she feels this way. Oh yes, she said. She is expecting her third child next month and probably feels it more than I do, lol. It really helped so much to hear that it was normal and it didn’t mean I was betraying the Faith, so to speak. But then she pointed out that, as the kids get older, we will have it easier too.

In fact, when I stop to think about it, how I’m feeling doesn’t make much sense. For one thing, Kindergarten is only 2 or 3 hours a day. I know from our past experience with preschool that by the time you drop them off and leave to pick them up it doesn’t leave time for much, and is a special pain if you have little ones to lug in and out of carseats, infants who might be napping at the wrong time, etc. And then there’s the fact that, even though the idea of having that time with one less child sounds appealing, the truth is I don’t want to be apart from DD for that much time.

Then we fast forward to when all the kids are in grade school. Talk about driving around all day – at least we homelearners do our “extra curricular activities” during the day and by 3 or 4 o’clock our day is done and we can relax at home and spend time together as a family. The school kids are just starting their second jobs when the school bell rings at 3:30. First it’s off to skating or ballet or karate or soccer practice and that means driving all over the place when everybody else is doing the same. After the games and classes Mum somehow has to put dinner together then the kids will have homework or music practice or whatever. And in the morning the rush starts all over again. That is so not the life I want to have with my children.

And when my kids are school aged they’ll be involved in clubs and activities and such that won’t require me to be there. AND since they aren’t age-segregated they can do stuff together which means less running around and more opportunities for some “kid-free” time. But not too much of it. Not more than I want.

And I’ll actually get to do some of this stuff with them. I want to do the Young Naturalists Club with them and volunteer with them for Habitat For Humanity and all sorts of other cool stuff.

So when I think this all out rationally there isn’t anything to be envious about. Still, I feel those pangs whenever I hear talk of the pending “free time” and “boy this time has gone by fast” and the new Life that awaits for the SAHM who is inches away from release back to something more closely resembling her former life…I have a feeling, however, that once it all starts and we are really Kindergarteners who Aren’t, then we will be able to make an accurate comparison. I’m confident that I will be the one to be envied, lol.

Friends going to Kindergarten

My friend K was all set to homeschool her kids, but as her eldest approaches kindergarten age she has changed her mind. She is expecting baby #3 this summer and worries about burnout. She worries that homeschooling is going to mean endless driving around town, going to different classes at different locations. But mostly, her son is begging to go. He is a very social boy, has been since I met him at age 2. He gets to a playground or anywhere kids are and immediately wants to join in the fun. He loves being with friends and will happily go off with a friend and friend’s mama to hang for a while without the rest of his family. He complains alot about not seeing his friends often enough. And it’s not like K is dumping him in any ol’ school. We are blessed to have a number of independent schools here and the two she is considering are as close to homeschooling as you can get: child-led curricula, attendance not mandatory, no homework, respectful non-punitive environments, etc. While I’m bummed that her schedule will now be more rigid, making playdates and outings less feasible, I can see quite clearly that her son would probably not be happy doing the homeschooling thing, and will undoubtedly love going to school.

I have another friend, A, who was really interested in homeschooling and trying to convince her DH to give it a go. She just told me yesterday that her DS will be going to their local Catholic school Kindergarten this fall. She was almost apologetic about it. But her son, like K’s, is also a very sociable boy. He also has 3 older cousins (triplets) whom he spends tons of time with and worships and they go to this school. He was asked what he’d like to do this fall and he vehemently insisted that he wanted to go to school. For a dozen other reasons I think it would be hard for A to homeschool and I can totally see how this choice really fits for their situation and lifestyle (and they are Catholic, of course).

I’ve written before about how I don’t think homeschooling is for everybody. I don’t feel bad for these families the way I feel bad when someone decides that breastfeeding “just wasn’t working for us”. In fact in some ways I envy them and the free time this gives them. But the truth is, even if I weren’t convinced of all the benefits of homelearning, my DD is nowhere near ready for school. She is not a social girl and is totally not interested in running with any crowd. She is just happy to read her books and learn about dinosaurs and go to gym class. She bristles at any mention of school and adamently insists she is never, ever going to go. She is simply nowhere near ready for that kind of separation and she isn’t the slightest bit interested in it, either.

And this is when I feel so grateful that I discovered this option. This is what I wish for all people – that they knew the option existed. At least K and A know that if their kids decide they hate school there are options. In the meantime, it’s going to be very interesting to see how it all pans out.

The games we play

I read a recent post in m00minfamily’s new blog about board games. I swear, that woman’s family and their homeschooling life seems so perfect as to be almost discouraging, lol. But I read because she is a great source of information and resources, and because I delight in seeing it all working the way it should. Her youngest, besides being advanced in reading and language, and a violin virtuoso, is now apparently a gifted artist as well. Sigh. But hey, how lucky she is to be in a family where she’ll be charting her own course, educationally.

Anyways, she wrote recently about “family game night” and I got some good ideas for board games. We aren’t quite ready for that yet – DD plays Vancouveropoly (we have the original 80’s version for which I can’t find an image link; the one I chose is the modern incarnation of the game) and gets rather distresssed if she can’t buy whatever she lands on (regardless of her financial situation), or if someone else buys one of her favorite peices of real estate (the Aquarium is untouchable by anybody but her!), or if she has to pay anyone rent. Since I’m one of those anal types who doesn’t enjoy myself unless the rules are upheld, we don’t do it often. But I see progress – we played a bit the other day and made it through about 20 minutes of regulation play before she had to change the rules, lol.

I’m really looking forward to when the kids are old enough that we can sit down as a family and play board games. M00minmama has some excellent suggestions in the game night post, and I was particularly interested in the non-competitive ones. We’re having issues these days with DD wanting to “win” everything, and turning everything into a contest. I know this is normal for her age, but I thought if I could introduce some games that require teamwork, and that focus more on fun rather than on winning, that she could get some other ideas to think about instead of just “being first”. This one sounds good – I’ll have to look into where best to buy them (or order it online).

New Year, New Start

I haven’t been writing much in this blog lately, as it feels as though we haven’t been doing much in the way of Homelearning activities. But, of course, children learn despite our best attempts to teach them, lol. DD continues to impress with her reading skills, which reveal themselves in fun and interesting ways. I’ll use a shorthand title for something, only to have her inform me that the printed words don’t mesh with what I’ve just said. Or she’ll exclaim in delight in the middle of a story “that says WATER!”. I love that she takes joy in figuring out words. She recently chose a book from the library called Scranimals that is a rhyming story about fictitional animals combined with other creatures. Beasts such as the “cardinalbacore” (part bird, part tuna), “toucanenome” (part toucan, part sea anenome), and the “bananaconda” (part fruit, part snake) lurk here. DD seems to really enjoy the plays on the words, and trying to wrap her mouth around the long names.

For Christmas, we gave her a telescope/microscope set. The telescope has been set up in the living room in front of the sliding glass doors, where it looks aesthetically pleasing and allows for views of the mountains or the moon. Being an inexpensive, child’s model it does not allow for fine examinations, but we have been able to clearly see the moon, with the craters and “seas” clearly visible. DD has enjoyed it, and I’m looking forward to warmer weather when we can venture outdoors in the evenings to places where the city lights don’t obscure so many of the stars. We haven’t done much with the microscope yet, and I hope to devote some time to getting her familiar with the concept soon.

The kids also received subscriptions to Chickadee and Chirp. We sat down, the three of us, and had a good time with them when the first issues arrived. I was surprised at how much focussed time we got with them, especially with DS. It was a lovely, thoughtful gift from Nana and we look forward to next month’s issues.

DS’ language skills are improving with dramatic progress seemingly every day. I’ll write in more detail about this soon, in my other blog. Recently he has started reciting letters. He can say A through F and a few other ones. Last night while reading one of his two favorite books, Chicka Chicka Boom Boom (the other is Dr. Seuss’s ABC’s), he started pointing to letters and naming them. Huge, huge strides for a child who, two months ago, said only one word and never used it in context.

Next week we start our activities. Gym class for each child (Wednesday and Friday), homelearner’s dropin (Thursday) and maybe something else. I’m trying to find a dance class for DS that will fit into our schedule, as he seems to have a fondness for moving to music. Mind you, he has speech therapy this Friday and I’m not sure how often he’ll have to go. I don’t want to overschedule ourselves, but admit to being a bit cabin-feverish of late.