Hurry up and wait

I’m a firm believer in not rushing children to acheive certain milestones. As a society, we seem to all understand that you can’t teach a child to crawl or walk, and that there isn’t much you can do to speed up the process. We all seem to have faith that babies figure this out on their own, and all they need is time and some space to move.

When it comes to “academic” acheivements, all that faith goes out the window. Being in a School culture, with it’s curricula and standardized tests and grade levels, one would think that any child not reading by Grade 1 is some sort of aberration. When you consider the Normal Distribution, there should be some dispersion about the mean; yet when it comes to education, the classic bell shape gets squeezed into a pointed dagger, with the mean at its sharp tip and anybody not within 0.12 of a standard deviation diagnosed as a deviant.

Fortunately for us unschoolers, this isn’t an issue. I do have faith that my kids will read and write on their own terms, at a time that is right for them. Inspired by many other unschooling families who have gone before me, I know it will happen.

But there is one area where I do feel the pressure to start rushing in, albeit for different reasons. There are so many cool programs out there and I am so eager to get started. From Silbury* to Silverdale, from the Young Naturalists Club to Science Camps – there is just so much learning out there available to children who are self-motivated, eager, and excited about it all (i.e. anyone who hasn’t been in school, ).

DD will be starting Silverdale this fall. You might ask why an unschooler would register with a homeschooling program that involves curricula, portfolio submission, and evaluation by a public school teacher. Well, for most of the unschooling moms I know who are doing this, the answer is simple: for the money. Not only are the programs free, but you get cash from the government that would otherwise be spent on educating your child in a school, and you get your Internet connection paid for. The teacher evaluations have no effect on your child’s standing and don’t even need to be shared with the children. But as I can honestly say that we are not doing it for the money, why do I want to do this?

I think it’s because I’m an organizational nut. I like forms and spreadsheets and having visual evidence of my progress and my direction. Silverdale provides this for me by requiring me to maintain a portfolio and submit it three times per year. It will make me feel like I’m doing something. It gives me something to tell others, instead of “…we just Are…we just Live…” and watching the thinly veiled looks of horror from the grandparents.

I know none of these are valid reasons when it comes to the success of unschooling my children – they will do just fine without such a program. We could keep doing what we’ve been doing all along – a gym class here, an Ecology Centre class there, a playdate here and a trip to the Aquarium there – and it would all be Good. She won’t be missing out on anything, because I really feel that until she is about 7 or 8 there is no point in any “formal” education (like day programs at the local University, for example) because she really isn’t mature enough to sit and focus for that long.

But when she is, oh the things she will learn! I just wish I had more faith and patience. I wish I could get away from this feeling of wanting to “do” something and trust that what we are doing now IS unschooling, not “waiting to unschool”. I’m going to give Silverdale a try because I figure I have nothing to lose. But I admit I wish I were stronger in my convictions. I wish I could dispell this nagging notion that I am providing “nothing” for my child in terms of education right now(when really, what is Kindergarten providing except part-time daycare?).

*I find their website to be very un-navigable; simply put they are a school for the gifted that also runs “daytime enrichment programs” that homeschooled children can attend

Creating a "work ethic" in unschooled children

An excellent post on the subject, by Moominmama.

Losing friends to school

There is a group of mamas and kids I’ve been hanging with for a couple of years now, since we moved back here from the US. I’m quite fond of many of them and DD has formed some nice friendships. One of them is with a boy, A., whom she has known since she was 2. Her mama is my friend, K, and we had our second kids within two days of each other. That first summer when the boys were babies and DD and A were not enrolled in any programs, we spent many days together. We live only 4 blocks apart and would go to the beach, the playground, the Aquarium, all over town. Then as DD and A got older and into programs we often took classes together. K and I pulled the older ones out of preschool within a few weeks of each other and made the decision to homeschool around the same time. We get together often and all enjoy ourselves.

The family prepurchased a condo last year on the other side of town and will be moving there in early ‘08. And A just got a spot in wonderful kindergarten that is close to their new home. Between the move and A’s new schedule I’m wondering how much of them we’ll see next year. I wonder if they’ll still want to come to the Homelearner’s activities since they won’t be homeschooling now (and A won’t be available for the first half of the day). And then it hit me that the following year he’ll be in Grade 1 and essentially gone all day, every day.

I’m feeling rather sad about all this, although the school he’s going to is excellent and a good fit for him. An era is coming to an end. I mean, up until around age 3 there is no difference between schoolers and homeschoolers. But now we are beginning to go our separate ways and follow our separate paths. I’m hoping that K and I can stay friends – we’ve only known each other 2 years but I really like her and her family. She does have the younger boy who both my kids adore, and is expecting a girl this fall. So hopefully we may see her still with the younger two. But I’m kind of sad for DD because I don’t think her and A will see much of each other. I think she will really miss him.

I suppose this is where the decision to homeschool starts to really feel…”real”. When we are truly doing things differently than others, and when our schedules and lifestyles become far less compatible. Fortunately there are a few homeschooling families that I really like and am working on getting closer to. I hope we can form the kinds of bonds that we’ve formed with K and her family. It won’t change our decision to homeschool, but it will make it more enjoyable.

My little calendar girl

I have to give credit to Moominmama, whose recent post about ordinal numbers reminded me that I had intended to give DD a calendar of her own. We put it up on a wall in the kids’ room the other day and each morning we go to the calendar and she crosses off “yesterday” and reads today’s date. Despite the fact that I don’t think she can recite the days of the week, so far she has successfully read Sunday through Wednesday (and that’s a tough one!) on her own.

A simple idea, yet it’s full of learning. She’s learning about days of the week, ordinal numbers, the names of the months and the number of days that constitute a month, and also the fact that years are numbered. Not bad for a 4.5 year old!