I did it! I rewrote the script!!

I am SOOOOO sick of answering the “so, is your daughter starting Kindergarten this year?” question. ‘Cuz you just know where it’s going. You know the script by heart:

“actually we homeschool”
“oh?” (pause) “what about [insert stereotype here: socialization, math, you name it]“

I end up launching into a lengthy discourse, trying to dispel all their preconceived notions…see here for example. It’s tiring and goes on way too long. I’ve recognized for a while now that I need to come up with a simpler answer.

And today it hit me: the problem is that as soon as the word “homeschooling” leaves my lips (and nobody gets what homelearning is or unschooling so ultimately I can’t help but say that word) I’m swimming uphill. Because the second they hear that word their mind is filled with their idea of what homeschooling is, and I spend all my energy trying to get them past their preconceived notions so I can then fill their minds back up again with the facts.

So, what if I just started from a blank, where they would have no idea what I’m talking about and then I can just fill it all in? Here’s what I mean:

“So, is your daughter starting school this year?”
“No, she isn’t going to school”….stop.
“Oh, uh…well then, what are you doing?”
“We do something called Free Learning. It’s where the kids decide what they want to learn about and I lead them to the resources they need to fully explore that subject.”

I’m not going to use the H-word at all. Hopefully by the time they figure out it’s basically a form of homeschooling, they’ll have heard enough not to bother asking me “well, what about math?”.

This is it, folks. This is what homelearning is all about.

I’m going to take a few moments to write in praise of the most inspirational unschooling blog I know. It’s called Nurtured By Love (there’s a link in my sidebar) and the writer is mum Miranda. This blog has been a wonderful unschooling resource on so many levels.

She provides numerous links in detailed posts of what her kids are up to in terms of projects and activities, leading me to resources I might not have been aware of or thought about before. It was this blog that inspired me to sign up with Zip.ca (in the US it’s Netflix) to get regular science and documentary type movies for myself and the kids. She has many links to math and science programs, good books, and all sorts of other things that would enrich any family’s learning environment.

In addition, her talented family is the “poster child” for unschooling. All four of her children are musically gifted (as Mum herself is) and in other academic persuits they perform well above average. Even little Fiona, at age 3, was experimenting with watercolour techniques that produced artwork I’d hang in my own living room. It can be hard sometimes not to feel woefully inadequate, and this is one “complaint” about the blog. But that was my issue, and I got over it pretty quickly because of all the benefits it provides.

But truly the greatest benefit of this blog is how you SEE homelearning in action, on a day by day, month by month, year by year basis. AND…she’s not part of the diaper and preschool set! I know that many of my homeschooling-wannabe mama friends stumble on this one part of the equation – feeling that, by making the commitment to homeschool, they are sentencing themselves to 15 more years of SAHM-hood. They only know the demanding, exhausting, emotionally draining (yet infinitely rewarding) aspects of raising very young children who are intensely needy of both our time and our energy. We crash into bed at night and wonder when we’ll ever find a life for ourselves again. But kids grow, and become more independent, and slowly we carve out a place for ourselves again. Homeschooling older kids is a totally different ballgame and here is where Miranda’s blog stands as a shining beacon of hope. It does get better, ladies!

I also like that I share the same parenting ideals as Miranda does. She does not punish her children, she gives them plenty of opportunity to practice responsibility, and her children are wonderful examples of the rewards of this type of parenting. There are too many posts to link to in this example, but read the blog for a while and you’ll see. On my bad mama days I turn to her blog for inspiration, and a reminder that I won’t be raising spoiled, indulgent, useless children by not enforcing every little behaviour that society tells us “good” children should exhibit.

I’m going to close this with a link to one post in particular that represents just how inspiring I find this blog to be. Here is the report of her son’s learning plan for the year to come (those of her other children are scattered before and after it). When I read these plans I feel so incredibly inspired and in awe of the power of giving children ownership of their education. Note in particular how Noah recognizes he needs help managing his computer time, and is coming up with solutions on how to do that. He doesn’t need his mother to stand over him with a stopwatch threatening to ground him or withdraw privileges (or simply take his computer away). Noah and his siblings have had a say in their lives from virtually the beginning and the value of that just shines through in this post. If only every parent could read this blog before making the decision to school their child! If only every parent knew that this was at least an *option*. I would never have to listen to the standard “what about math?” line of questioning ever again.

Preparing for Fall: random updates

Our schedule: we’ve signed up for weekly gym classes, Ecology Centre classes, we’ve got a weekly homelearner’s dropin and a biweekly one. I’m teaching 6 lectures this month, so have child care for those days. Otherwise I am really looking forward to starting up a regular routine.

Big news: we’re moving to a house! read all about it here. This will really improve our ability to do outdoor projects like messy art, gardening, birdhouse-building (and subsequent birdwatching), and other fun stuff. Yay!

What we’re not missing: the insanity that is “Back to School”. We’ll be hanging low, avoiding the stressed out masses, and waiting for our homeschooling group’s “Not Back to School Picnic” where we relax under the shade of large oak trees in what is usually the nicest month of the year (September) watching crazed families on their way to the University (where there are also several daycare centres and a high school).

Lazy Summer

We’ve been doing a fair amount of travelling lately, and there are still a few more trips before summer is over. We’re not attending any classes, and we’ve been avoiding our weekly homelearner’s group get-together because the park we’re meeting at is not “DS friendly” (I spend all my time there chasing him around, and I’m feeling lazy these days). So when we’re not travelling, we’re staying pretty close to home. This has led to some freak-out moments on my part where I worry that my kids are wasting their days away in front of the TV. So I have to remind myself that the trips we’re taking are educational and stimulating (DD has learned to fish; she can bait a hook and cast her line quite well). And remind myself that it’s nice to have some “down time” days in between the stress and excitement of travelling.

So while I try not to worry about these days when nothing much *seems* to be going on (and of course, when pressed to come up with something I don’t seem to have much trouble listing off what we’ve been learning lately), I’m also recognizing that I am a person who can benefit from some structure to my days. When I don’t have plans I tend to fritter the day away on the computer. I have all these great ideas, but then don’t implement them. And I’m the sort who needs structure imposed on me, so I’m finding myself looking forward to the fall.

I’ve just hired a new sitter who will be coming two mornings and one afternoon a week while I teach a lecture series at the University. I’ve signed DD up for gym class and we’ll also be doing weekly classes at the Ecology Centre (this time I’m planning on bringing DS along and we’ll see how well he holds up in the classroom; last year I had Mum watching him while I went in the class with DD). There’s also the homelearner’s dropin which will be starting up in our indoor venue come September. Between that and the sitter doing crafts and other fun activities with the kids it should be a good balance for everybody.

I’d also really like to start scheduling some time to work on specific projects. For example, I’ve been thinking about doing some simple experiments with magnets and electricity. A couple weeks ago we read a Magic School Bus book about electricity and DD learned that electricity is caused by electrons “running through the wire” (we even drew pictures). Frankly, I’m finding it interesting myself and would like to pursue this, as well as introducing the concept of the Scientific Method. But when I don’t plan times to do this, the idea just sits in my head. I’m hoping that with the sitter around more often I can be more organized, getting art and craft supplies and other things we need to do these activities (DS is at the age where taking him into stores is rather tortuous).

But for now, I’m trying to relax and just enjoy these lazy days of summer!