Five Dangerous Things You Should Let Your Kids Do

One of my favorite parenting videos:

Green Spaces

I recently read The Last Child in the Woods by Richard Louv. The book discusses “nature deficit disorder”, a not-so-serious name for a pretty serious issue, that is, the lack of access to wild spaces that kids today are faced with (wild spaces being everything from a roadside ditch overgrown with grasses and teeming with wildlife, to hiking through an old growth forest). Books like this make me sad: reading about children who live without any access to green sites, and also reading about everyday kids whose life of school, homework, and organized sports leaves them so little precious free time for exploring. Add to that the lack of community and fear of the boogeyman (or worse, liability) and too few children get to experience the outdoors the way my generation did.

Yesterday we headed out for one of our regular hikes through the forest, just 5 minutes from where we live. The book was in my head as I looked around at the spectacular environment my children enjoy regularly. We picked salmonberries, not quite sweet but still a tasty treat:

We saw a bald eagle perched atop a small tree, watching the lake for fish (you might have to enlarge the photo to see it):

And the children did what children do in the forest, they explored. We’d stop every few metres to examine an interesting feature; kids see things in such a unique and wonderful way. A section of lakeshore was ripe for exploration with sticks:

Small holes in the banks that lined sections of the trail were wonderful spots to find bugs and other interesting creatures:

We went with another family of homelearners. Our two oldest kids, not always the most socially adept of children, ran together with their collecting buckets and had a fabulous time exploring together. It gave the two mamas a chance to catch up and talk about all sorts of neat things with few interruptions. The younger kids enjoyed the occasional piggyback ride (giving this mama a much needed workout). The weather was warm and delightful. The children were fairly quiet as they explored, often bent over in concentration to examine a particular bush or insect. We could hear birds singing and the occasional breeze rustling through the trees.

And then a school field trip trooped past us. We’d heard them before we saw them. Children were clustered into groups, chatting noisily amongst themselves and seeming to pay very little attention to their surroundings. Adults looking harried could be seen repeatedly gazing around, lips moving as they silently counted heads for the fifth time in the last few minutes. They were on a schedule, they had an agenda, and there was no time for stopping if one child wanted to take a closer look at a brown ringed mushroom. They’d likely had a lecture at the education hut before embarking on their walk, and they’d likely been told what they were supposed to learn on their walk. It’s hardly likely that the teachers don’t appreciate the value of free exploration but when you are managing a group of 35 eight year olds and when the bus is waiting for you in the parking lot, you really don’t have the luxury of taking time to indulge the whims of each and every child. 

Eventually they passed by and we were returned to the noises of the forest. Son had spied a large rock and needed a boost to climb it. Our friend’s son was giving Daughter tips on how to find salamanders while they worked together to reach a fat, ripe salmonberry dangling above them. We came across a man fishing and he patiently answered the children’s questions about what sort of bait he was using and what kind of fish he was catching. It was a near perfect outing, and the sort we are fortunate to enjoy on a regular and frequent basis. 

It’s Google, Baby!

Yesterday my son was watching a DVD on my laptop: Curious Buddies Dance Moves. Yes, he is 3.5 but he just adores those annoying little puppets. I say “annoying” because I cringe at marketing videos to infants. But my guy is far beyond infancy now and the Curious Buddies are a frequent choice on our weekly trips to the library.

Anyways, Husband calls me into the living room saying “come and look at this”. Our son had found the Google search page (it’s my home page) and was entering the words “curious buddies” in the search engine by reading them from the DVD case and typing them in by hand. He hadn’t figured out the “enter” key so he was stuck. I was pretty amazed! He said he wanted to find more Curious Buddies movies…

Daughter started using the computer when she was about 16 months old (that’s her in the photo above, right around that age). One of her favorite games was the Alphabet Game at Fisher-Price Online Games. While it definitely wasn’t the only influence, she did learn the alphabet by the time she was 22 months and could then use a keyboard fairly well. About a month before she turned 2.5 she mastered the mouse and from that point on there was no looking back. She also quickly mastered our old Nintendo ‘64, playing games that required one to not only become familiar with a virtual world (navigation) but also required that one memorize various sequences of button-pushing to perform moves with the controller. 

It’s hard for Son to follow such an act. And with his large size and speech delay (which is hardly noticable now), it was easy to peg him as the “strong and slow” type. But he continually amazes us with these little flashes of brilliance (at 19 months he knew most of the alphabet; this from a kid who had, at that age, never muttered even so much as a “moo moo” – but he could point to any letter you asked). He has started recognizing words, and he has recently begun asking us how to spell certain words. I’m guessing he won’t be too far behind his sister when it comes to reading, and I’m hoping we can keep him out from under her shadow. In the meantime, he can Google to his heart’s content!

PS – I know there are some who think that screen time is not a healthy part of a young child’s development. My own feeling is that computers can be used responsibly or abused (like anything). I’ve watched my children as they’ve explored computer games, DVDs, and video games and while they certainly have their behavioural issues, this is not one of them. They go through phases where there is lots of screen time, and then periods when the machines gather dust. But importantly, even when they are really into a certain game or device, they never let it get in the way of going outdoors or engaging in some imaginative play with each other (in fact, one of my biggest peeves is seeing DVD’s playing to an audience of no-one, or getting ready to lose it with the annoying video game music only to find out the game was long abandoned and the kids are off exploring somewhere else in the house or yard; turn things off when you’re done, people!).

What kid doesn’t like playing with Spit?

A couple of days ago the kids and I went to the neighbourhood park and took a short walk through the forest. We noticed an abundance of spittle bug nests. I’ve been aware of these since I was a child but didn’t realize until recently that there are actual bugs hiding inside them – I thought they were left behind by bugs, but when Daughter got her now much-beloved copy of Insects of the Pacific Northwest we discovered together that the blobs of spittle-like goo are actually the hiding places of spittle bug babies.

So, on our walk Daughter begged me to find the bug hidden inside. We did and they were delightfully colourful insects. There was only one specimen described in our Insect book: Philaenus spumaria, the Meadow Spittlebug. The photo showed the Nymph stage, a bug with a black head and thorax and a pale yellowish abdomen. We saw one of these in the woods, but most had bright orange abdomens. Then I found this page on the Twolined Spittlebug, whose nymph stage is described as follows: ” the red-eyed immature form may be yellow, orange, or white with a brown head”. This is exactly what we found most often on our walk. Here is a photo of the adult:

This is a perfect example of what Unschooling looks like in real life. A visit to the playground, an impromptu walk through the forest, and Bob’s-yer-Uncle we have a lesson on entymology. It helps that Daughter shares my love of the natural sciences. Bugs are a favorite subject of hers, and she loves to identify and classify the various creatures she encounters be it in our backyard, the forest, or along the beach. It has all the atmosphere of a treasure hunt for the kids, I have an “excuse” to pursue questions I might let languish in my brain for years, and the whole thing takes less time than a boring ol’ high school science lecture sandwiched between history and PE.

Daughter’s Learning Consultant (her personal “teacher” in our DL program) has pointed out that such outings develop a whole range of skills: observation, categorizing, referencing…not to mention it counts as physical activity. Later on when Daughter inevitably draws the insects she has found she’ll be developing her artistic and creative skills as well. She will want to write down the name of the bug, aiding in her language development. It is the LC’s job to translate our adventures into “Ministry-speak”, to reassure the bureaucrats who fund our program that the kids are actually learning something. It’s fun for me to see how many areas of learning Daughter explores while simply doing the things she enjoys. For her, however, it’s all just another day in a Life Without School.

Summer Break

Our homeschooling program is coming to an end for the year. Of course, for an unschooling family not much will change. I won’t have to write my twice-monthly report on what Daughter has been up to, otherwise, life will continue as it has all along.

We are, however, finishing our last community centre class today and I haven’t registered the kids for anything in the summer session (the leagues of parents desperate not to be “stuck” with their kids all summer filled up most of the classes long before I realized it was time for the next term). We’re taking a break from classes and I for one am happy about that.

As a homeschooling mum I feel like these classes are really an important part of their early education. But doing classes has been a battle for years. Daughter turned 3 when Son was about 9 months old meaning parent-participation classes were out for us, not that there were many left. In the mainstream world of preschool, 3 year olds are expected to be able to function without the comfort and security of their parents. My child was not there yet, and I foolishly tried to push the issue before accepting that a) it would not be detrimental for her to leave off classes for a while, b) it would be detrimental for me to push her beyond her comfort limits, and c) I could pretty much guarantee myself that, at some point, she would willingly attend a class without me.

Finally, when she was 4 that small step towards independence was taken and she enjoyed gym and pottery. This last term her brother finally reached the age (and, more importantly, the maturity level) to handle attending classes. Conveniently, at 3 and 5 they were able to be in the same class together. Son would feel more assured with his sister there, I reasoned, and I would enjoy an unprecedented break every now and then. I thought it was the start of a new era.

It didn’t quite work out the way I’d planned, however. Son had some separation issues (not as intense as his sister at that age, however) and if I suggested that he just not go in that day then Daughter would insist that she not go either. We dropped out of gym class early in the term because Son simply could not focus to the degree required (the first half of the class was an all ages warmup, meaning big lineups that Son just couldn’t handle) which left a 1 hour pottery class and a 1.5 hour art class. Son was hot and cold about pottery; more often than not I found myself bribing him to go. Daughter finally confessed last week that she didn’t want to do pottery anymore (she’s taken the same class for three terms now; my shelves are overflowing with the same bowls, pencil holders, and lumpy animal figures).

The only success was the art class. I credit this to an experienced teacher and a very small class size (they keep it limited to 6 kids). There are several activities, including a story time and sing-a-long circle. I was nervous about leaving my energetic, restless, and sometimes too-physical boy in this environment. So I was delighted when I came to pick them up on day 1 and saw him sitting there singing along, doing the hand movements, and clearly enjoying himself. Today is the last day of that class and I will miss it. Having 1.5 hrs to myself was gold! And the kids have always enjoyed it (this class does not go over the summer).

We’ll hold off on classes again until September when I think Son will finally be ready for some classes on his own. He is very much into physical play and is showing an interest in ball sports. Daughter enjoys more cerebral pursuits, although she says she wants to learn golf. I’m also considering some sort of preschool-type class for Son, no more than twice a week. It’s hard for him to be always under the umbrella of a precocious and highly verbal sister with strong leadership tendencies. I think it would be nice for him to enjoy an enriching play environment and develop himself on his own terms.

In the meantime, I’m resolving to Trust more. My kids are too young to “need” to do anything other than play and explore and follow their interests. If they aren’t enjoying community centre classes why go through the expense and effort to put them there, just because of some silly notion that kids “need” these things? Heck, as Miranda recently reminded us, her kids don’t even have a community centre (we have four in our community!) and they are obviously thriving. My children are not social butterflies and they could care less about being around groups of other kids. I must remember to honour that. Meantime, I’m looking forward to doing a lot of family camping this summer!

Road Trip

I have been aching to get away from town for weeks now. We have been thwarted by a late, cold, wet spring and Husband’s company sending him off on business trips over long weekends (the curse of working for an American-based company). Finally this past weekend we headed out of town to a little place called Vernon in the North Okanagan region of BC.

The kids were kept happy on the 7 hour drive with books, a few toys, and some audio books (we’ve been enjoying the adventures of Harry the Poisonous Centipede). I’m glad we have resisted the urge to get a portable DVD player. The kids also each had a long nap which gave Husband and I some precious hours of interruption-free conversation. And the scenery…wow…it was fantastic.

We are so blessed to live in such a beautiful place as British Columbia. Our journey took us from the Lower Mainland (Vancouver area) through the Fraser Valley farmlands, up and over the Cascade Mountains, through the southern interior Dry Belt where the desert-like terrain is so vastly different from the coastal temperate rainforest, and finally to our destination, where the open fields spotted with clumps of native grasses start to give way to evergreen forests again. The scenery was breathtaking all along our route.

We arrived around dinner time on Friday. The next day we went to our friends’ son’s birthday party. After that we headed to Davison Orchards where the kids wandered around and played while we ate delicious home-baked pies.

The next day we went to Kalamalka Lake and enjoyed a brief 0.5 km hike to a pebbly beach. The kids were respectful of the Poison Ivy growing there, though Husband pointed out the irony of taking kids out into the woods and then telling my 3 year old “don’t touch anything that’s green”. I was fascinated by the composition of the forestland there, so different from our home town. Daughter asked me to snap this photo of “an interesting flower I’ve never seen before”.

We ate some sandwiches while the kids threw rocks into the lake and the adults admired the view.

We returned home shortly after this, enjoying another beautiful and scenic drive. Ah…I love family road trips!

My new (wanna-be) activity

Last year I learned about the game (sport?) of Geocaching. This is a game that requires one to get out in the Great Outdoors yet is intimately connected to modern technology. You require an Internet connection and a portable GPS device. Online are lists of caches – hidden treasure boxes – located all around the globe. I was amazed to see how many were within a few kilometres of our house. Anyways, caches contain notebooks where guests leave their name and comments, and there are little treasures; the rule is “take something, leave something”. There are even tagged treasures whose ID codes can be entered online so that one can track the movements of these items from cache to cache around the globe. To find a cache you enter the GPS coordinates into your portable GPS device and then try to find the hidden treasure box.

When I first read about it I thought it sounded wonderful but wanted the kids to be a bit older before trying my hand at it. We’ve been doing a lot of Nature Hikes lately and the kids’ stamina has built up impressively. I think they’re ready. So I am trying to get my hands on The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Geocaching (not a library or bookstore in town carries it!). I may get a portable GPS or, for the same money, I could get a Blackberry and write it off as a business expense…we’ll see. Point is, I think this just may turn out to be a wonderful family pastime and a great experience for the kids (as far as learning goes it involves ecology, fitness, geography, mapping, technology, just to name a few topics).

I’m hoping to get started before the end of the month.