Visualize the future…..or am I just psychic?

DH still doesn’t have a job. The only lead we have right now is a recruiting firm in the UK for a job in, of all places, Dubai. Yup, the United Arab Emirates. Call me a paranoid Westerner, but anyplace with the word “Arab” in it is not exactly up there these days on my list of “safe places to raise a family”. At this point, we have to accept anything that comes our way, even if that means him shipping off to halfway around the world. At least the pay would be really good. Maybe he can do it for a few months until he can find something closer to home.

When it comes to big events in my life I’ve usually been able to “see it happening”, visualize it being a reality. When I applied to my high school (where all my friends were going) I had no doubt in my mind I would pass the entrance exam. Same with my University – in fact, it was the only one I applied to. I just knew I’d be there; I could visualize it so clearly. This has happened with other things in my life, and I’ve always thought it was a testimony to the power of visualization, of believing hard enough in things to make them happen (which isn’t to imply that it’s easy; it does require all the work that goes into making it happen; this isn’t a “pray harder!” type of thing).

But with DH’s job, I have no “vision”. I expected him to stay here, and the interview with the local company 3 weeks ago made me think this was it. Then the assholes never bothered to call him back. Not even so much as an email to say “hey, thanks for spending half your day with us, but it just ain’t gonna work out”. Amazing how unprofessional and discourteous some people can be. Did they know how desperately we needed that job? Did they know I was on pins and needles all day, each day, after that interview? Apparently, it never occurred to them. Jerks!

Anyways, I can’t see this Dubai thing happening. But then, I can’t see anything clearly with respect to DH’s job search. And thinking about that one day, I was suddenly struck with a thought: maybe I have this visualization thing all wrong. Maybe it wasn’t that I visualized it and made it happen. Maybe I saw it because it was going to happen. (cue Twilight Zone music)

Which isn’t to say that when I don’t see something it means bad news. Just that this particular issue (DH getting a job) isn’t showing up on my radar. Maybe it’s because I feel helpless, like there is nothing I can do about it. I’m just a bystander trying to support him and stay positive for him. Maybe I need to be an integral part of making it happen to see it clearly beforehand. Regardless, not being able to visualize it is probably contributing to the stress of this situation, because I just can’t see an end to it anytime soon.

Wish us luck.

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