First, no news on the job front. The Universe is going to extract every ounce of anxiety, sweat, and near-perforated ulcer from me before rewarding me with a six-figure job offer for my DH, right?. Yeah, that must be it!
On to better things…Things at DD’s preschool have been going great this week. She is visibly more relaxed, she has not protested going to school once, and today she went the whole day and trip out there without ONCE checking in:
DD: “mama, are you going to stay with me at school the WHOLE TIME?”
me: yes, sweetie, the whole time
DD: and you’re not going to leave me?
Me: no honey, I will not ever leave you without telling you
DD: okay, mama.
We’ve had that conversation multiple times but NOT today! So, after two days of bringing DS with me to the school, meaning I had to stay out in the hallways most of the time (and it was not fun for either me or DS), I decided today was the day. I left DS at home, and I didn’t mention anything to DD on the way to school. But when we got there and she got settled in, I told her fave teacher my plan and she came over to DD. I told DD I was going out and would be back real soon for the parade (they were doing this in honour of “P” day today). She began to cry and hug my legs and I worried for a bit there…but I reassured her I’d be back soon. I told her I’d just go out in the hallway for a while (I was thinking of actually leaving the school) and she said “where I can see you?” yes, honey. Then she lets out one or two more sobs and announces “I’m going to play with the puzzles” and that was that.
So I headed to the observation room, ready to high-tail it out to the hallway if she went to the door to “take a look” (it’s a half-door, so she can see out a bit). She didn’t look. And I stayed, and she did GREAT. She didn’t cry, she didn’t even look distressed. She chatted and laughed with teacher. Eventually teacher went off to tend to other stuff. My heart was in my throat but DD did great! She was basically her old self again. When it came time to parade around the hallway, she saw me but didn’t get overexcited or try to jump in my arms, she kept saying she had a job to do “making music for the parade” and stuck with the line. I didn’t follow her back into the classroom, and I decided to stay in hiding when they went out to the playground for the final bit of the day. Apparently she sat near the entrance to the playground waiting for me, but wasn’t crying or anything. And when she greeted me at the end of the day she was fine, not dissolving into held-back tears or anything.
We DID it!! After two weeks of me attending preschool my DD finally trusts me again, enough to let go and have a good time. I’ll write more later on the fascinating observations I made while hanging in the observation room (I meant to leave but honestly it was just too cool watching her). But for now, I’m just really proud and feeling OH so validated! Hooray for me, and hooray for DD!!