After writing my post last night I decided that today I was going to let the house “go” and just focus on the kids. So this morning I got up with DS and put the kettle on, then immediately sat down with him to play. I think he was a bit surprised. We played stack’em toys, and flipped through some baby board books. It was nice, really nice, to interact with him one-on-one like that. He has a smile that absolutely melts my heart.
Then DD woke up and we had a cuddle and then I said “wanna play a game with us” and she said “you’re gonna play with us, mama?” and I said “yes” and she said “that’s wonderful!”. So we got a stack of old poker chips and played tiddly winks and laughed together…it was wonderful. I didn’t care about anything except playing with them, and it felt great. And….we had no incidents. I finally turned the DVD on when I went to have a shower, and then we left for our visit to BF (my best friend, not my boyfriend!) house out in the distant ‘burbs. She has a cute little house with a huge, sunny yard, great garden, and a dog and we take the highway there past farms with horses and cows. It’s only a 45 – 50 minute drive but it feels like “getting away from it all”.
My kids had a ball there. They played in the yard the whole time. Now I really get why having a yard is nice for kids. They just had fun playing with the garden and the dog. And when we ate they could get messy (DS especially) and food wasn’t getting on the carpet. They were happy and not once did the two of them get into any altercations. Meanwhile BF and I got to have a good chat and drink tea together.
On our way home DH called and we detoured to pick him up from work. As usual, I got totally lost (having never gone that route before to his work) and ninety minutes later we picked him up. I was pretty tired by then, so he drove home. And yet, despite this, when we got home DD tried to start something and I diffused it so calmly, and with such compassion and empathy for her, that I even made myself proud. And this was after dinner time! I haven’t been that in control and at peace at that late time of day in weeks. So it felt really good. The combination of focussing on the kids, and our nice day really REALLY helped.
BF recommended I make a schedule for myself. Not an hour-by-hour breakdown, but just breaking the day down into morning, afternoon, evening and plan for each week. I am going to give this a try and schedule time for housework, instead of trying to do it all every day. And also schedule focussed playtime with the kids, as well as work time. So the house may not be as tidy as frequently, but so what. There are more important things at stake. And we have a cleaning service that comes twice a month so we aren’t going to drown in our own filth, lol.
So, here’s hoping I can keep these positive changes going. Today, I feel really good!