Yesterday DS turned two. Since DD had woken up with a croupy-sounding cough, I convinced her to stay home with DH while I took my boy out for a walk. Just me and him. We went down to the beach; it was a glorious day. I haven’t been down there for a while, which is silly given that I live a few blocks away. We took a lovely walk along the seawall, and he fell asleep. It was a nice break for me – I’d been stuck inside the whole day previous, doing work mostly. I got to walk briskly and enjoy the lovely scenery.
DS’s birthday still brings a pang of regret regarding his birth. I’m convinced that he was “taken early”. My C-section was scheduled for the only available time, 10 days before my due date. I should have waited until labour and then had my section, but it was more convenient to arrange care for DD. And, I’ll admit it, I was afraid of labour and not mentally prepared for it. True, DS suffered no apparent ill effects from the C-section or his apparently early arrival, but still I feel as though his time had not come to be born, and that his “real” birthday was likely a couple of weeks away yet. Actually, I have many regrets about my two C-sections, but that is for another post. Yesterday, I allowed myself to let these feelings flow through me, neither dwelling on them nor pushing them aside. I let them run their course, and then I moved on.
We had a nice, quiet Thanksgiving dinner at Mum’s house, followed by the traditional chocolate birthday cake (my Aunt’s recipe and my favorite growing up) which I have made myself for every one of my children’s birthdays so far. I love simple birthdays, and this one was just perfect.
Happy birthday, my beloved little son!