Restless, Needing a Change

I’ve been heavily involved in researching real estate lately, and I have a strong desire to move within the next few months. Whether we buy a place or rent one, I feel like I want out of here. But I can’t really explain why. We’re very comfortable here, and other than the fact that the place doesn’t get as much direct light as I’d like (we face North), there isn’t much to complain about. And moving is such a pain in the neck.

In thinking about the idea of staying here longer, my thoughts move on to other things we could do, like buy a new car. That idea is silly given that my 2000 Mazda Protege is still running like a dream and is fully paid off. And the kids are still at the age where I’m liable to give them anything to eat or drink just to keep them quiet in the back seat, so the car is a perpetual mess and at times there is a smell of rotting…something. The thought of them doing that to a new car is upsetting, to say the least. Might as well keep the Protege for a few more years until the kids are old enough to keep quiet even without messy snacks and drinks. Besides, the novelty of owning a new car wears off after only a few months, and that’s not long for a purchase of $25k or so.

Upon even further reflection I’ve decided that I’m simply restless. I’m wanting a change. When people ask me “what’s new” the answer is “nothing”. DH is still doing great at his job, the kids are fine, homelearning is going swimmingly, my business is starting to pick up but I still have just the two clients. Teaching is going fine. Yes, we’re still living downtown. Yes, we’re still renting (cue mental self-respect formula: Almost 40 + still renting = LOSER). Everybody is fine. Yup….We’re all Good.

Now you’d think I’d experienced enough upheavals in my life to appreciate that when Life is Boring, that’s when Life is Good. Unboring is when people get diagnosed with fatal illnesses, or someone dies, or someone suffers a financial disaster that leaves them destitute. Unboring is when your husband announces he’s leaving you for your secretary, or your child starts exhibiting signs of mental illness. Yes, folks, in Life Boring = Good.

So why am I feeling like I need a change, like I need to do *something*? Maybe human beings aren’t meant to be stably happy all the time. Hmm, that reminds me of an interesting show I heard on CBC about a book called “Stumbling on Happiness“. It’s on my Amazon wish list. Maybe I should read that.

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Categories: Uncategorized | 1 Comment

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One thought on “Restless, Needing a Change

  1. Anna B

    I could have written that. I am a nomad by nature and get restless easily and start looking for ‘something’. I don’t think that humans are supposed to be secure and content. It stops progress.

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